I refuse to say one year. I’m continuing with the “months” until you reach 24 months. *cough cough two years cough cough* I’m a sad case, I know. Get used to it, Buddy. I’m pretty sure that I’ll be like this or the rest of your life.
I remember when it seemed like twelve months was so far away. I’ve said it a million times, but I can’t believe how quickly time just flies right by. There I go—sounding like my mother retelling the story of my birth. I just rolled my own eyes. The truth is, now I get it. Now I get why it was so important for her to retell the story tens upon hundreds of times. Now I understand how momentous that day was for your grandma and that retelling the story makes all of that love and joy come pouring right back to her again.
I remember being so very nervous. I was happy and sad at the same time. I was happier than I can express for our own family, yet I still felt sorrow for your birth family. They were going to miss out on so much of you. Yet we had waited for so long. We had three failed adoptions and so many let downs along the way. But there we were, awaiting the birth of our son. It was surreal. I remember trying to soak up each and every moment and store it into my memory forever. I do.
I remember every moment of our hospital stay–every knock on the door, every text, every smell, every touch, and every time you looked my way. It’s been an entire year since the day that nurse first placed you into my arms yet there I am…right there in that hallway, tears in my eyes, looking into yours for the first time. My cup runneth over.
Nothing in my life has given me more joy than being your mama. Daddy feels the same way. Your daddy and I are the world to each other, but we both will admit that we seemed to become whole on the day you were born. That was what was missing—you. You are probably the most loved child in all the world, I’m sure of it. It doesn’t feel wrong to say it like that. I’m your mama. That’s how I should feel. But I also know that it is true. You are loved the whole world over.
People ask me quite often what my favorite part of motherhood has been. I never have to think twice. My favorite part of motherhood has been getting to know you. And by that I mean you as a person, not only as my son. I love your sweet nature, your wild side (you may or may not have “inherited” this from your mama), your silliness, and your sense of humor that is so beyond your years. You speak about twenty words now, but you say so much more than that each and every day in your actions and expressions. You have so much to say and are just biding the time until you are physically able to say it.
Strangers often comment about how tiny you are. You are on the smaller side, but most of the time they think that you are about five or six months older than you truly are. I’m sure that it has to do with you being around adults most of the time, but you really do act much older than your true age and you’ve been like that for almost all of your little life. You’ve been like that since the day you were born. I remember waking up with you at 4am the morning after your birth for your feeding.
It was just the two of us. You looked right into my eyes and I swore it was like you were saying to me, “I know that you didn’t carry me, but I know that you are mine.” Of everything that helped me feel like a mama, that was the defining moment for me. We connected that night in a way that I’m sure few can understand. But listen to your mama, son. You don’t have to be in a rush to grow up, Lil Man. We have time.
We have so much ahead of us, you, your daddy, and I. There are so many adventures and so many stories yet to come. You have gone from newborn, to infant, to baby, to toddler all in one short year. It shouldn’t feel like the beginning, but it still does. In the whole realm of thing, our story is still just beginning. I can’t wait to see what we have in store for us, Logan. Whatever it may be, may it be filled with laughter and smiles. That’s what I’ve wished from you since the day you were born—happiness.
Now for the stats!
Professional runner, singer, and dancer
Says 75 words and 20 phrases
Independent—self feeder, tries to wash himself, tries to dress himself, and brushes his hair
Color = red
Food = bananas
Activity = bath time
Animal = Rajah
Loves to splash in puddles and pick dandelions