Self-Soothing May be Great for Some, but It’s Just Not Working at This House.

Our doctor suggested starting to teach Logan “self-soothing” techniques at his last doctor’s appointment (2 months).  She stated that it was important for him to be able to calm himself and to put himself to sleep.  If we tried it and it didn’t work, that we could always try it again later. 

We have tried.

And we have failed.

Okay, so I can’t do it.  I tried and lasted at BEST five minutes.  If truth be told, it was probably more like three minutes.  I just can’t bear to hear him cry when I know that all he wants is for me to snuggle him just for a few minutes.  On a personal level, it makes me feel like a bad mother.  I mean, isn’t that what I am HERE to do?  I’m supposed to take care of his needs and steer him in the right direction until he is old enough and knows enough to do those things himself.

So.

I can tell her that I tried.  I’ll tell her that I tried and it did nothing but make me feel like a bad mother and upset my child for no reason whatsoever.  He’s only four months.  If he were a year or two old, it would be different.  We’ll try again at that time because for now….I’m rocking him as much as I want.  I’m holding him as much as I want.

It’s great in theory.  Your child can calm himself when upset and / or fall asleep on his own–it’s convenient and (they say) encourages independence.  I wanted it to work, but it just isn’t for “us”.  It PAINS me to hear him crying and know that ALL he wants in the entire world is me and I’m choosing to ignore him.

Not to say anything about those who have tried and succeeded.  Kudos to you!  You are much stronger than I.  I will fully admit my defeat.

If he is spoiled, I’ll deal with the consequences.  I’ll steer him straight once he is old enough for reasoning.  I have waited for this baby for a long, long time.  He’s growing up so quickly already. 

I’ve decided that I’m going to love on him as much as I feel he needs to be loved.
Because that?  That is what Mama’s do.

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5 thoughts on “Self-Soothing May be Great for Some, but It’s Just Not Working at This House.

  1. I can't do it either. When she cries or whimpered, I'm out of bed and by her side and when all she wants is to sleep in my arms, I let her!! Plus all she does is scream louder…I tried it for 5 minutes. I was told she would pass out from defeat after 10-15 minutes, that's absurd, she is my baby not an opponent!I'm like you, I feel my role is to provide for her and I also believe you can't spoil a baby!! At least you can say you honestly tried!XOXO!!!

  2. Love on him all you want, you waited a long time to do so. He'll turn out just fine. They are only cuddly for a short period of time and you need to get all the snuggles you can while you can…in my opinion.

  3. Phooey on "self-calming!" We tried that when our son was a baby too and I gave it maybe 2 minutes. šŸ˜‰ It just wasn't for us and given that he ended up being our only child, I can honestly say I don't regret a moment!! He's now 14 years old, still very much a momma's boy (in a good way!) and I still get to hug him a few times a day. I credit that with those early years of him being "spoiled" by being held as much as he needed. Right or wrong, that's my story. LOL!! šŸ™‚

  4. Haha! I hear you. I just can't do it. At least not yet. I MAY try later…but I doubt it. Like "Adoptive Momma" said, we've waited for so long to get this little one and I don't think babies can have too much lovin'. šŸ˜‰

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