Slipping Backwards in the Patience Department

I saw the cutest little girl at the grocery store this evening.  She’s about the same age as the little girl that we are waiting to hear about–the foster/adopt possibility, that is.  She may have been just a LITTLE bit older.  But anyway, I started thinking about how very real this could all be for us very soon.  And I got crazy excited.  There I was, daydreaming right there in front of the ground turkey.

When I was a little girl, I dreamed of being all sorts of things.  I wanted to be a librarian for a while, a nurse, a teacher, a veterinarian, and I’m sure there were many more along the way.  But the one constant before all of those was that more than anything, I wanted to be a mommy. 

I always knew that I wanted a career and to be a mother.  Not that there is anything wrong (at all) with being a stay-at-home-mommy.  I have many friends that do stay home with their children, and if it were an option, I can’t say that I wouldn’t do the same.  However, I just never really thought about that as a child.  And I definitely never once imagined that I wouldn’t be able to conceive on my own.

I remember when I realized that I probably wasn’t going to be able to get pregnant without a lot of fertility drugs (or divine intervention).  I also remember how to my surprise, I eventually started to get used to the idea.  I never thought that I’d get to the point of acceptance, but I did.

I then remembered the new hope I felt when Corey and I decided that we were going to go the “adoption route”.  I also remembered the reasons why.  I thought back to all of the failed adoptions and attempts….but then I remembered where we are now.  We now have two or three possible adoption opportunities pending. 

I then started to think about how this dream could finally becoming a reality.  That could be us very soon, pushing a toddler around in a grocery cart (buggy for my southern friends and family *gasp*).  All of this craziness we have been through in the last 2 1/2 years…it could all be finally happening for us very, very soon.  I was watching that little girl pretend that her Gerber fruit puffs were tiny friends when Corey snapped me out of it spouting something about chicken quarters.

I’m getting anxious now and I know how dangerous it is to do so.  We don’t know that she will even come to stay with us!  And if she does, she isn’t free for adoption.  She may go away someday.  Or she could end up living here forever.

How do people do this 4 and 5 times? LOL!  The patience of Job, I tell you.  The patience of Job.


2 thoughts on “Slipping Backwards in the Patience Department

  1. First off, I'm sending a giant hug! The waiting never gets easier and the patience part, well I think that only exists in print and no longer in real life. I don't know how families are able to be forever foster families, I just don't think I could do it, and if I could I would likely be so distant from the little ones in my home that the placement wouldn't be the healthiest spot for them. Geez, I ramble. I mainly wanted to say, once everything is finalized and you are in the car after meeting with the judge, oh dear, the waterworks I tell ya. Oh, and even better yet is the day you make a brief little jaunt to the mailbox feeling less than awesome about your life and work and everything in between and then, there it is in all it's glory…your child's birth certificate. When I'm felling a little down in the dumps I just take a gander and that little 8.5 by 11 paper and remember this little guy is mine, he's allll mine. :)I am wishing everything goes smoothly and mommyhood brings you all the joys and tears, and hopes, and wonderfulness that it really is. In Jehovah's eyes we've only been waiting a few seconds for this person to come into our lives, so maybe I'm not anywhere near patient, but I think I can wait a second or two. 😉

  2. Ahhh! I shouldn't have read this at work. 🙂 You made me all teary. Thanks so much for your wonderful thoughts. I can't wait until I get to have those moments. Much love to you! ❤

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