We have received a few emails of interest since we were finalized in March. Some of them we knew were beyond what we felt we could realistically “handle”. Some of them were in situations that we didn’t really qualify to accept as adoptions.
And of course, some of them have been single children, and although this is not something we would EVER turn away, we were really looking forward to a sibling group. This would be our first choice, if given one.
There are a couple of reasons for this, but the main reason is that foster kids don’t really have anything that they have always had. Most of them don’t have any real stability in their lives whatsoever. This causes lots of “issues” in children from extreme anxiety and behavioral disorders to Reactive Attachment Disorder. (A disorder where children cannot really seem to bond with anyone and they act out because of the frustration.)
Of all of the challenges that we could encounter, I believe that RAD is probably the most concerning. And many foster kids have it to some extent. However, if a child is in a sibling group, they are typically really bonded to each other. This means that the affects (or degree) of RAD could be less severe. I guess we just feel that if a child has bonded to his/her sibling, they have the potential of bonding to us. Of course, that’s a little important in our adoption. We want our kids to be bonded to us. That’s a given.
We also think that having a sibling group will allow the children to adapt a lot better because not every single thing in their lives will be brand new. They have always had each other. 🙂 Nevertheless, we’ve decided to focus on sibling groups of two.
We’ve had quite a few that we were interested in and have placed inquiries on several of them. However, we have been instructed by our local CPS to focus on one at a time and allow the caseworker in the child’s state (most of them have been outside of Georgia) to respond. I suppose this is so that we do not get overloaded and so that CPS doesn’t receive too much information at one time.
For some reason, most of the children that we seem to “fit” with are in Oregon. This causes some concern, depending on the situation. There are several children that are legally free for adoption; however, still need to have family contact. This could mean anything from physical visits to ongoing telephone contact. It allll depends on the case.
We will keep y’all posted. 🙂