It’s with a heavy heart that I write this post. I’m trying to keep a positive though with all that has happened, but it’s becoming more and more difficult to hold onto that hope. I don’t ever want to lose sight of the big picture. I’m not giving up until I hear the final word. But I haven’t questioned the possibility of non-approval until yesterday.
We received word from the state worker on our case that we may be denied. As in, they may not approve us. The reason? They think we may not be able to “work well together”. They think that we need to have more “patience” with them throughout their mistakes and throughout their delays.
It’s taken like two years to complete something that should have taken six months. That’s more than patient. Seriously? Not to mention how we have followed our county DFCS around and made sure that they have kept up on our case each and every step of the way. From the beginning of our IMPACT classes to the last little piece of paperwork to be submitted, we have babysat the CW throughout the entire process. This isn’t even touching on all of the errors. FOUR FULL SETS of paperwork because they lost it.
Now she has our future in her hands. However, if it DOES come down to it, we will be talking to her directly. I’d have some things I’d like to say to her anyway, truth be known.
And then she says that we seem frustrated. Really? Really? Maybe it seems that way because we ARE. I understand they are busy…but we are on their side in helping to ALLEVIATE some of that. It’s ridiculous that these children sit in foster homes waiting for families. Here you have families awaiting children. To me, the pieces should be obvious to put together.
We should know more later. After I wait a week and call her to find out where we are on all of this. I’m fairly certain that she won’t let us know all on her own. heh.
Sometimes it all reallyyyyy bothers me. Why did I have to be the ONE member of my family to be infertile? Why me? I know I wouldn’t be the PERFECT mother, by far. But I think I’d be a fairly good one. And I know my husband would be a great father. It breaks my heart that I can’t do this for him. Yes, he knew about all of this going in, but I still hate it for him.
I wonder (as well) if this is their way of leaving some room for cushion. You know, that saying this gives them the room they feel they need for future issues. Who knows. UGH. Have I ever mentioned that I hate head games?
Anyway…enough ranting. Thanks again for all of your support, everyone. Maybe one day….