Our First Adoption Conference

The adoption conference was quite…interesting. Two words describe it best, I suppose: Organized Chaos.  But then again, that is what most kids relish in. I suppose the children were as comfortable as they could have been, considering the reason they were there.

And TRUST me when I say that they well knew why they were there. One thirteen year old girl even had potential parents’ names written on her hand for reference. They were there to find families, period. This was their purpose.

I know it sounds heartbreaking to say it like that, but you know? These kids are tough. Unfortunate circumstances made them that way, sure…but nevertheless, they can handle it.  Kids are resilient. Sometimes more than they should be.  They were looking for families and this was their chance to shine.

There was one little girl that I fell in love what almost immediately. She is eleven, and I know I was very pressed on trying to get a toddler or a preschooler; however, this little girl and I just really “clicked”.  She was playing video games with Corey until someone changed the game on them and she decided that she would move on.

She came over and sat at the table where I was sitting. We talked a good bit and goofed around about the stuffed puppies they had sitting there for the kids to decorate. She definitely has made me consider an older child adoption. There was so much love in there just waiting for someone to share it with.

Also attending was a little boy that I had been keeping my eye on through “My Turn Now”. He is seven and a total doll. He’s a spunky little thing! However, some lady “claimed” him as soon as he walked in the door and no one else had a chance. She didn’t allow anyone to really get too close to him. THAT was my biggest complaint about this entire gathering—people monopolizing one child. (Mind you, we were forewarned not to do this in the orientation. Evidently some people just can’t follow instructions.)

At the end of the day, Corey and I had to complete an interest survey/comment sheet. We placed interest in these two kids to see if we could get further information. We aren’t completely finished with our home study, so we knew that getting any further right now may be next to impossible.

Since doing our initial home inspection on Dec. 14th, we haven’t heard from the CW at ALL. That was two months ago. We have no idea what this means or doesn’t mean. We thought perhaps her knowledge of us going to this conference would push things through a little….?

Granted, we could have called her after some time passed and we didn’t hear from her. But you know what? That’s not our job. It’s her job to be proactive in finding potential families.

We’ve been doing this since the beginning of our IMPACT training–trying to track her down and get her paperwork in order for her. I have a job and it isn’t for DFCS–they do not pay me. I don’t expect anyone else to do the job that I get paid to do and I don’t expect to have to do someone else’s job either. That’s how I feel about that. LOL!

When it was all said and done, we left with our heads whirling and emotions flying. I don’t think either one of us really knew how to feel. We talked a lot about things on the drive home and decided that we will find another way. We just had to. It’s about the kids. If we can save one or two from falling in the cracks, we’ve gotta do what we’ve gotta do.

I couldn’t get this little girl out of my head afterwards. I wanted to know more about her—as much as I could know. Her profile said that she was in grief counseling, so it probably was that she had lost her parent (s) in some way. She had siblings that did not live with her and would need to maintain connection. That shouldn’t be a problem. I kept looking.

I emailed the person that mans the “My Turn Now” website as this little girl was still being listed on the website. The contact person did respond back fairly quickly and thanked me for the interest. She gave me the email address for another person to contact regarding our status and the completion of our home study. I emailed her immediately and received a response within the hour.

She informed me that someone in the girls’ family stepped up and is going through the process of adopting her. Family gets the first chance at adoption. If this falls through for whatever reason, they will let us know. If our home study is complete at that time, we would be able to persue the adoption further.

She also wanted to know the circumstances as to why we wouldn’t have been contacted in two months and I did proceed to tell her what was happening (or not happening, if you may). She reassured me that it would be taken care of; they appreciate potential parents and we need to be taken better care of.

Needless-to-say, I heard from our “caseworker” within 24 hours.

She first reached Corey and had a conversation with him. She’s claiming that she told us she would be waiting for us to get our ducks in a row and then we would contact her. This is such a copout because we know what we discussed while she was here. We told her that we would need a list of the items she was still waiting on (as she claims we didn’t turn things in that we know full well we did turn in…sigh).

She emailed me that day and called me three days later. She apologized up and down about the “misunderstanding”. I told her that we had some discrepancies in what we still needed as we turned in things that she said she didn’t have. We actually turned in several of these things at one time and she only has part of the sets. (?!?!)

Since then we have received a list in the mail of chicken scratches telling us what we still needed before the interview portion of the home study can begin. We are working on getting the few things we need to her right now. We still have to get the pets’ vaccines up to date and our stinking TB tests completed. (This, btw, has turned out to be the BIGGEST pain in the neck. You have to test and go back to get it read in 24 hrs. This is very difficult when your work hrs are the same as the clinic.)

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